...And the Walmarts stretched as far as they could see in all directions...

Got up at three so my dad could drop me off at Scott and Misty's on his way to work. From there I helped pack the van until everyone showed up. We left about a half hour late, which was actually later than my excessively pessimistic projection.

I think I had the most bags, but I also had flashlights and knives and duct tape and watches that were borrowed by pretty much everyone at some point, so I consider my extra luggage justified. Next time I'm bringing my briefcase for stuff I want to keep in the van like snacks and books and medicine. Plastic bags don't work well.

Scott or Bob had built a small entertainment center that fit between the front seats of the van so everyone could watch TV. Was probably the best idea anyone came up with on the entire trip. This way we could be tired and packed in a van full of slightly smelly people with butt cramps from sitting for too long AND watch a movie all at the same time. The distraction was very appreciated. We watched Monty Python and the Quest For The Holy Grail first. It was quoted at every opportunity for the rest of the trip. 'Liar Liar' was watched twice because it was so funny. Then there were a few action movies on the first day of the trip but Misty has some weird ideas about what movies her kids can and can't see. Swearing, sexual references, and drug use are no big deal, as well as killing animals or severely injuring people, but killing people in defense of something noble is out. It sucked. We quickly ran out of interesting movies that fit the criteria and moved on to animated children's movies and horsey flicks. The worst of all was 'Baby's Big Adventure' or something. Yeah, use your imagination.

Saw a house that looked just like the one from Secondhand Lions. Great movie, by the way.

Saw a rolled over semi truck. Passed a prison. Halfway through Indiana everything just got flat and stayed that way. It looked cool, seeing fields out forever with houses and barns scattered in around them.

Stayed at a hotel. Had the theme dinner complete with Napoleon Dynamite music and wigs. Four guys, two beds. The other guy in mine required all but a modest eighteen inches or so at the edge. I made sure to make him feel bad about it. He volunteered to sleep on a cot for the rest of the trip.

In the morning we had breakfast at the hotel and this grubby guy comes in and starts spinning this story about how he got a flat tire and then ran out of gas up the road and could he please have five dollars and in exchange he would let Scott hold the title to his car while he went to the gas station. Scott gave him the five, the guy went outside, climbed in a car and drove away. For a scam to get five dollars though, he must've really needed it for something, and it wasn't enough to buy drugs in any substantial quantity, so whatever.

The second day was longer, and pretty much entirely in Texas. Texas is bigger than it looks on the map. The highways get up to twelve lanes, I kid you not, with a dozen highways and ramps curving amongst each other a hundred feet in the air. FRom Arkansas all the way down there is pretty much one dominant gas station chain: Love's. They're everywhere. Almost as thick as the Walmarts. It's kinda cool because prices on gas and snacks don't vary.

So finally at two in the morning we cross the bridge onto South Padre Island, where we'll be spending the next day and night: Saturday. The campground is closed. We can't sign up for a site. We drive around, the hotel was either too expensive or too full. End up sleeping in a church parking lot. The mosquitos come. They don't leave.

Wake up, eat breakfast in the campground parking lot this time while we wait for it to open. Sentry kept calling the palm trees pine trees. It was making her mad. Zach asked me to climb a palm tree to get him a coconut. Had to do some explaining about what grows on what tree.

Fed the seagulls.

We got into the campground and decided rather than setting up tents and renting a cabana (a sort of one-room house/hotel room on the beach) we should just get the cabana and pack everyone into it. So we did. The parking lot was in front of the cabana, the road was in front of the parking lot, the beach was in front of the road, and then there was the Gulf of Mexico.

Everything in Texas/Mexico starts at ten AM. Stores open, people go to the beach, etc. WE goofed around on the beach before that, went back, had lunch and a nap. With all the cots set up there was zero floor space. The bed had two people on it, the bunk bed must have had six or so, and all the cots and mattresses were edge to edge wall to wall. I read my book. The Sentry tried her hand at miniature origami.

Three hours later.

Everyone wakes up, we try the beach again. No more 'only people on the beach' for us. It was packed. Could barely walk between the towels. At this point the airhead blond ex-goth turned almost-a-prep decided she was bored and needed something to flirt at. I was the only thing in pants of the right age, the other guys being twelve or so. It got old in a hurry.

The ocean shredded one of my shoe laces while swimming. Gotta have shoes on to protect from invisible jellyfish. Got it unknotted, and it can still be tied, but it looks weird now. Smells funny too courtesy of the salt water. Everyone learned that the water in the public shower is reused only after they had rinsed their mouth out with it.

The theme dinner was good. We ate from bed pans.

Went on a crab-hunting expedition after dark. Brought the crabs home in a plastic tub.

The next morning, we went to church where we had camped out when we arrived. It was a congregation of old people, and I think they enjoyed the change in routine. The pastor played the accordian in one of the songs.


Drive all morning. Get to McAllen around noon, I think. Turns out rather than camping out in a gym, we get a guest house in a compound. Fences, gates, barns, sheds, houses, guest houses, camper trailers, underground sprinklers, and cactii. The youth got an entire house. It was so cool. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, a living room, all stocked with towels, washcloths, pillows, blankets, vacuums, food, books, movies, games, etc. It had AC too.

Hurt my back as soon as we got there. Was worried for a bit, but after an hour or two it was good enough to move around normally again.

Went to church at a Spanish church across the street. They spoke Spanish. They sang in Spanish. It had some really cool parts, mostly the singing when we sang in English and they in Spanish but the majority was generally boring. At this point I am very tired of writing.

Computer setup. Mislabeled cables. Took all day instead of two hours. One computer blew up when I turned it on. Smoke, sparks, crackling, etc. Wednesday night Spanish church. Zach tried to give me permission to ask his sister out. Had to explain repeatedly that I had no plans to do so. Randy writing a story. Got to help him out a bit with that. He's excited, as am I, because his writing style lacks detail and description, which is what I love to add.

Yard work, mowing, weed-whipping, etc. Dave, the missionary who runs the joint cut part of his finger off with a machete while cutting new string for the trimmer. Found it a few days later and I think the doctors ended up putting it back on after all that time.

Drive home, watched gay movies. Get there at like 11:00 PM.

SOTD: John Cale - Hallelujah (Takes the tune from the hymn and adds verses to it. Pretty cool.)